{"id":161,"date":"2017-08-24T00:01:59","date_gmt":"2017-08-24T00:01:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/facd2ce320.nxcli.io\/?p=161"},"modified":"2024-04-12T13:54:19","modified_gmt":"2024-04-12T17:54:19","slug":"new-relationship-energy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/findpoly.com\/blog\/new-relationship-energy\/","title":{"rendered":"New Relationship Energy: Head in the Clouds, Feet on the Ground"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Your lips are locked with someone you\u2019ve been wanting to kiss for a while now. You\u2019re overwhelmed with sensation: their smell, their taste, the warmth of their body pressed against yours. Later on, after you say your goodbyes and start heading home, your heart may still be racing and your hands may still be shaky, but you feel as if you could fly. When you get home and get into bed, it\u2019s hours before you can fall asleep. You feel too awake and energized. Over the next days and weeks, it\u2019s extremely difficult to keep yourself from texting your new crush every ten minutes even though it feels excruciating waiting for them to text you back. When you see their name pop up in your phone notifications, you feel a flutter in your chest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Man<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Welcome to the chemical rollercoaster that is new relationship energy (NRE)!<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s well-known that attraction and falling in love or lust with someone new is a biochemical process. This chemical pathway doesn\u2019t play out exactly the same for everyone, since every brain, body, and relationship is different, but there are some recognizable similarities that many people can relate to. For allosexual people<\/a>, attraction may begin with a surge of testosterone and estrogen, producing a sexual longing for the other person. Around the same time, the brain goes into overdrive producing dopamine and norepinephrine, the \u201creward\u201d chemicals that get released whenever we do things that feel good, such as eating a delicious meal or having an orgasm. These two hormones energize you, reducing your need for sleep, and even decreasing your appetite.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With all those feel-good chemicals roiling around inside, you\u2019d think that falling in love would feel great 100% of the time. As anyone who has fallen in love can attest, that is hardly the case. Bouts of warm fuzzies can alternate with obsessive thoughts about your new lover, feeling terrified despair that they might not feel the same way about you, and surprising flare-ups of jealousy or panic. The culprit? Serotonin. More accurately, a lack of serotonin, since attraction and falling in love is usually marked by your brain reducing its serotonin uptake.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Serotonin is responsible for many body functions, including making you feel \u201cfull\u201d or \u201csatisfied\u201d after eating and having sex. Low serotonin can be linked to many unpleasant phenomena, including addiction and depression. This is why falling in love can feel like you are \u201caddicted\u201d to the other person — you get the dopamine high when you\u2019re around them, but without the dose of serotonin to make you feel satisfied. You quite literally cannot get enough of your new lover.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Good News, The Bad News<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

 <\/strong>Okay, so I just took your better-than-the-movies budding romance and turned it into a clinical description of neurotransmitter functions. Talk about a buzzkill. If you\u2019re wrapped up in your lover\u2019s arms and you sigh, \u201cI\u2019m just…so full of NRE hormones right now,\u201d it\u2019s unlikely you\u2019ll get the warm response you might be hoping for.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The good news is that it doesn\u2019t have to be that way! Seeing NRE clearly for what it is does not have to suck the magic and romance out of your new relationship. It actually offers up many more things to appreciate: the fact that you\u2019ve crossed paths with someone that makes your body and brain light up in this way, the wonder of your individual chemicals colliding and interacting and setting both of you on a pathway to a great connection, even just the simple bonus of getting a natural mood boost — no caffeine, alcohol, or other drugs required.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The bad news is that it can be very easy** to lose sight of just how consuming NRE can be. On top of not sleeping or eating enough, it can become all too easy to neglect other responsibilities, including work, school, friendships, and other romantic relationships. Your ability to evaluate your new partner\u2019s shortcomings, questionable behavior, or glaring red flags is severely gutted, muffled under the weight of just how dang cute\/hot\/sexy\/handsome\/charming\/gorgeous they are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In short, NRE is a double-edged sword: it can brighten your days, pump you up, and bring you closer to a new partner, but leave you with a dangerous lack of judgment or clear-headedness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Person<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Head in the Clouds, Feet on the Ground<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

So how to avoid letting NRE run the show, while still enjoying the precious first stages of a new relationship? When I\u2019m experiencing intense NRE, I like to think of striking a balance — letting myself enjoy having my head in the clouds, but making sure that my feet are still on the ground. While just being aware of the phenomenon of NRE in the first place is a great first step, here are a few more tactics to help you with striking that balance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n