{"id":272,"date":"2018-07-09T23:28:47","date_gmt":"2018-07-09T23:28:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/facd2ce320.nxcli.io\/?p=272"},"modified":"2024-04-12T11:27:34","modified_gmt":"2024-04-12T15:27:34","slug":"interview-matt-bianca","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/findpoly.com\/blog\/interview-matt-bianca\/","title":{"rendered":"Interview with Matt & Bianca"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Tell us a little about the two of you. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hi everyone! We\u2019re Matt & Bianca. We\u2019ve been together for 23 years, swingers for seven and practicing polyamory<\/a> for three and half years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What does your relationship dynamic look like? <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

At the moment, Matt has a girlfriend of 18 months and Bianca recently split with her boyfriend of two years. Matt dates openly, (Friends with Benefits, one-nights stands, swinging together or separately, etc). Bianca prefers swinging and lasting relationships in the poly world. Shortly after we started swinging, we began documenting our evolution on YouTube and via our audio podcast.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 What do you love about non-monogamy? <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

We love that you can experience so many different types of people. We love each other immensely but there are some things that can never be filled by the other person. Whether it\u2019s hobbies, kinks, a specific body type or anything else that one person can\u2019t entirely fulfill the other. We understand that it\u2019s ok not to be 100% perfect for each other in every way but that doesn\u2019t change our love for one another.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What parts of non-monogamy do you find challenging?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Definitely scheduling and jealousy are issues that come up much more in the poly world. When we were just swinging, we were still together as a pair. As we started dating separately and creating relationships with others, issues arose that we had never run into before. Instead of working through problems entirely as a team, we had team problems but also individual issues that we both had to work through, individually.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How do you address and\/or overcome those struggles? <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Communication, communication, communication. This can\u2019t be stressed enough in any relationship, let alone non-monogamy. We have always had very strong communication<\/a> between us (probably the reason we\u2019ve been together so long). When one person is feeling negatively about something, we feel that if we sit down and talk about what we\u2019re feeling and more importantly WHY we\u2019re feeling that way, we can overcome any relationship obstacle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How do you feel like being polyamory intersects with or affects your relationship and lives as swingers (and vice versa)? <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It has definitely opened up our swinging lives more to actually better sex with others. We came to discover that separate-room sex almost always equals better sex (with others, of course). When you can focus on who you\u2019re playing with, even form some sort of connection, even fleeting ones, the sex improves significantly. And since, there are also many lifestyle couples who ONLY play separately, we have a wider pool of playmates. Plus poly\/swinger couples that we meet tend to be more at ease with us since we\u2019re on similar paths.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How accepting was the swinging community when you became poly? <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are a lot of people that are both swingers AND poly. Many won\u2019t admit it for some reason, maybe because they don\u2019t like labels but that\u2019s definitely what we\u2019ve seen. Some swinger couples that we talk to think we\u2019re crazy for creating relationships with others as that has a higher possibility for jealousy and marital problems. We try to explain loving more than one person does not mean that we love our spouses any less. But since we\u2019re still swingers, the swinging community still seems to accept us. Of course, monogamous couples have always thought we\u2019re crazy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do you find it difficult to date poly people when you are swingers? <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Along the same lines as what we were just saying, there are some poly people that we\u2019ve met that are adamant against having sex with others that you DON’T have a connection with but in general, most have been very sex-positive. Actually more poly people have had issues with the fact that we\u2019re married<\/a> and believe that our potential hierarchy would be a problem with dating them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do you date poly people who are not swingers? <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

We both would but honestly, it\u2019s never come up. Some who would never admit they were swingers but go to orgies all the time with other poly people. As long as the poly people we were potentially dating were ok with the fact that we will be sexually active (safely) with many others, we don\u2019t see any problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Have swingers rejected playing with you because you are in a poly relationship? <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not that we\u2019re aware of but we\u2019re pretty clear that we don\u2019t NEED relationships with others to have a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What do you wish more swingers would understand? <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of the swingers you play with are also poly. You just don\u2019t know it. It doesn\u2019t affect you in any way as long as they don\u2019t attach themselves to you if it\u2019s unwanted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What do you wish more poly people would understand? <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some swingers don\u2019t want loving connections. Some do. A large percentage of swingers feel more comfortable playing with people that they at least have a friendly connection to. And some don\u2019t want to even formally meet the people they\u2019re playing with. There is no harm in asking. We definitely see that every couple has their own journey and evolution through the years which may mean they couldn\u2019t even imagine polyamory today but you never know what tomorrow may bring. If nothing else, swingers have the best sex stories.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What advice would you give people who are new to non-monogamy?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Non-monogamy is not for everyone. But if you\u2019re dipping your toes in and it goes well, you could be opening up your lives to the most amazing things that you never even knew existed. The most important thing we tell people is always go with the speed of the more conservative person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whatever that may be. Is there anything else you would like to share with poly swingers? <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Polyamory is amazing. Swinging is amazing. They can both work and they can both fail horribly. Always communicate with each other every step of the way. Sad things are going to happen in your relationship but if you talk through it and always put the other person first, it\u2019ll work out in the end.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Voices Together \u2013 Insights from Matt & Bianca’s Polyamorous Voyage<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Step into the world of Matt & Bianca, where love transcends conventional boundaries, and every story is a beacon for those curious about the polyamorous lifestyle. SwingTowns invites you to join a community rich with personal experiences, wisdom, and the joy of shared connections. Sign up for your free account today<\/a> to continue the conversation, delve deeper into the realms of love and relationships, and embark on your own journey of exploration and understanding. With SwingTowns, the adventure into diverse love stories like Matt & Bianca\u2019s is just a click away \u2013 let’s explore together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u201cSwingtowns.com has been one of the best places for meeting like minded and fun party people. I\u2019m always looking to meet new people and this site never fails.\u201d -PoundnSand<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

\n
Sign up for a Free SwingTowns profile<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\n

Want to Contact and\/or Follow Matt and Bianca?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Listen to the first podcast where Matt and Bianca started talking about poly.<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Everybody Swing Podcast<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Everybody Swing on Twitter<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Matt & Bianca’s Subreddit for Poly Swingers<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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