Busting Poly Myths

It seems like polyamory is everywhere we look these days and, yet, there is still a TON of terrible information floating around. Many of my clients, friends, and colleagues who identify as polyamorous spend a great deal of time discussing the impact of all this bad information. It can be really daunting to tell people […]

Why, darling, what green eyes you have! Five tips for supporting a partner who is feeling jealous.

One of the most common pieces of advice you’ll hear from folks in polyamorous communities is this: A key to successful polyamorous relationships is not “never being jealous,” but rather owning your emotions, taking responsibility for them, and being committed to working through them. We spend a lot of time, and rightly so, talking about […]

Unicorn Hunting™

One of the hottest and most longstanding topics in polyamorous communities is Unicorn Hunting™. Go into almost any poly chat room in any corner of the internet and you will, without fail, find at least one post that sounds something like this: Nelson Newbie: Hey folks! We are a solid and secure married couple in […]

Polyamory Has Made My Relationship Stronger By Megan Ashley

My partner and I were monogamous for over a year before we decided polyamory just might work for us. Of course we had our reservations about it. It’s one thing to talk about it and imagine how it will work out, but it’s quite another to act on it. The first time I saw her […]

Shhh....

First of all, I want to start out with the fact that I DO talk far too much. I am a talker to the max. Sometimes when I explain my thought processes to my husband he looks at me with eyebrows raised and says something like, “Woah, that was a lot.” It’s something we laugh […]

Love is Love

Thinking of going poly, opening your relationship, or starting to date folks who are consensually non-monogamous? Or perhaps you’ve always had an open heart and you’re looking for more ethical options in order to find the best relationship structures for you and your loves. Having a sense of broader possibilities and the language to express […]

How do you treat yourself?

Gather round, children, and get comfortable: We’re going to talk about self-care. What’s that? Self-care is for “pansies”? It’s for sensitive traumatized snowflakes that can’t “cut it” on the daily without leaning on a crutch and being handled with kid gloves? Trust me, I would have been right there next to you, rolling my eyes […]

Jealousy vs Envy vs Compersion

Cheers, Sexy People! So you want to embark on creating the possibility of having an open, ethically non-monogamous relationship, but you are concerned about the elephant in the consensual non-monogamy living room — jealousy. How will you cope? Jealousy happens. Simply experiencing jealousy is not the problem. The real problem is that our society teaches […]

I have heard people say that compersion is the opposite of jealousy but I’m not sure I agree with that.

I’ve heard of people describing it as a euphoric, passionate state. I’ve heard others describe it as something warm and familiar, like a mug of hot cocoa on a cold day. My one partner describes it as “happy sympathy,” feeling happy for your partner’s happiness. I have struggled with this particular emotion. Compersion does not […]

  • August 27, 2017
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The Science Behind New Relationship Energy

Your lips are locked with someone you’ve been wanting to kiss for a while now. You’re overwhelmed with sensation: their smell, their taste, the warmth of their body pressed against yours. Later on, after you say your goodbyes and start heading home, your heart may still be racing and your hands may still be shaky, […]